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My Dark Retreat Endo DMT Report - 2018
First Notes Toward a Protocol
Intro: I'm 71, and I have accumulated over 70 days in dark retreat over the past 15 yrs. I have been free of drugs and stimulants for decades, and I do not have a nocturnal dream life to speak of. On the evening of April 8th I entered total darkness for six days of deep rest/sleep. I thought of it as a hibernation lab. At the end of the third day I was suddenly presented with an akashic*/organic light* demonstration technology which I took as a lifetime achievement award. *akashic: the astral/etheric library of all human imaginal endeavor. *organic light: instructive shadowless lumination ----------------------- These are my notes taken a few weeks after that event, which I have spent catching up on what dimethyltryptomine (dmt) and organic light are thought to be. I did complete the intended six days, using them to introspect about what happened.
During the first three days there had been plenty of the usual vague shadowscapes, travelling photons, corporeal schematisms, prisoner's cinemas, distant starfields, rorschach phantoms, wallpaper smudges, etc, etc, etc, but the demonstration began in sudden vivid earnest near the end of the third day. Having just awoke from sleep, my astonished eyes opened wide to meet a brilliant lingering object in full bloom and in mid-stream.* Shall I say it was "realer than real". An exquisite and sensuous multi-orange tapestry was this first image and it took up half the open field and was maybe six feet away. Moments later my beautiful dead or sleeping mother (deceased) became the third image coming to rest right beside me in bed, portending the range of things to come.
In the next two hours 200 pieces followed in slideshow/parade fashion: these are the round numbers I figured it to be during my review immediately following the event. Incredulous at that thought I immediately reviewed it again, and again agreed on these numbers. There were objects, panels, windows, total environments, displays, scenes, toys, interiors, landscapes, movies, bird's eyes, screens, drones, remote views, tv's, roving cams, disco balls and more employed. Not many with human figures. I have only a little memory of them now, maybe twenty, though my imagination is still working on recovering more of them. All image/objects produced their own light as a resonating form, like a "burning bush", yet bereft of religious and even spiritual iconography.
Holographic throughout the presentation: this means that it is fully 3D to my perception. Appearing substantial and touchable, most sets were suspended in mid-air. Some were wrap-around environments. They were highly detailed with most pieces presented in extremely high definition. I was taken by the micro lens work as I wear glasses usually. There was occasional 4D, a percept in the dmt literature, where the pores and grain in the objects just open up showing their inner texture and infinite depth.
Cloud-like movement and general motion, though occasionally it halted or quickened and even jumped a few times. Many pieces leisurely morphed into the next piece as if clouds were the material underlying canvas. I remember wanting a pause control for when I took particular interest in the content.
Non-cathartic calm: I experienced no anxiety. I was astonished, delighted and interested, witnessing and inquiring by turns. During a few interior room settings I had a passing concern that I may be trespassing.
Soft pastels and earth color tones seemingly unique to me. I kept thinking that I had never seen quite that shade before. I believe that it was this primary use of soft earthen color and the cloud-like slow boiling movement of the pieces that hypnotically produced the feeling of deep calm that I felt nearly the whole time. Color and slow-motion therapy combined.
No sound track: the few who said something spoke telepathically. There were no actual sounds but I did hear things, but not much. The few times I spoke it affected definition with a mild trembling that that slide didn't recover well from. I suspected that my voice resonance was insufficient for the task. I forgot to sing to them.
Further notes:
*I believe that the initial scene and setting had developed in situ while I was sleeping (this overlapping phenomena recurred three more times when awakening over the next two days), and that the usual dream/wake transition switching remained open allowing me to be in two spheres at once. I understand that this open switch could be considered characteristic of an endo-dmt experience, a reverse hypnagogia.
I remember often thinking of the incredible production values. It was as a matter of fact a very lively demonstration of technical capacity and curator ability of what could be done to present material art through the properties of the cloud as media foundation. The medium WAS the message.
I remember thinking in summary that it must be some kind of in-progress saved art catalog. A Gaian global dream objects repository on selective parade.
I remember thinking the word "mod-dern" as a general descriptor. Meaning for me that there was often simultaneously an archaic and post-modern feeling from many pieces, especially the objects. I considered this a genre particularly selected to accommodate my interest in paleo culture generally.
I was looping urine. I had been looping urine on day one but it was not going smoothly so I took day two off but went back for day three. Looping means you drink what you produce and you produce what you drink.
I was eating very lightly - coconut water sips and raw veggie chips, two handfuls a day. I swallowed 2-3 teaspoons of charcoal, clay and distilled water combined to baby food texture every day. I believe in retrospect that this could have played an elemental alchemic role in harmonizing the gut brain.
My lower back was seizing up from not moving enough (lying around). Debilitating though completely painless while prone. A common problem for me and others in dark retreat. This event released the whole condition immediately and entirely and is remaining so many weeks later. I am also experiencing an enhanced penile tumescence almost every night since, as it insists on waking me up.
Although entranced, I began and remained fully functional throughout the entire session. At one point I donned a mindfold to see how that would effect the production values and received the oddest bifocal effect, a dual view that conformed to the inner and outer frame of the mindfold. I cannot describe nor explain such a phenomenon. *Mindfold: a fancy very effective blindfold made of synthetic materials.
Toward a protocol: I believe the primary staging co-factors are the depth of relaxation approaching hibernation/temple sleep and the melatonin buildup from extended total darkness. Urine, as plasma ultrafilterate, is the factor modulating the character content of the vision. Let’s say that urine infuses and quickens the melatonin accumulation/cascade of endogenously derived dmt and also inhibits the overwhelming effects, even more than ayahuasca generally does, making a molecular brew that's modified and signatured for personal or partnered inquiry. One's own urine is a personalized dna dmt router/switch, and as such is a lubricant between dimensions.
Being endogenous, an exploratory protocol built upon these factors would be entirely legal.
Looking under the hood: the taboos. Portals to wholeness are in general guarded by taboos. A confluent protocol could be constructed to synergetically game the far-reaching psycho-physical energy locked up under taboos. Here is a short list of a few that are bundled together in this protocol-in-the-making; total darkness, urine drinking, not doing, self acceptance, deep restfulness, quietude/silence, eating dirt, nakedness. There are more. In rememberance: the evening of the first day produced a lively Yidam-like experience that likely played forward energetically.
July 5: I have since been designing a protocol and research environment that will allow future researchers reliable access to these organic light archives of the collective imagination.
"Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake". Henry David Thoreau
finnpo@gmail.com Further fp - darkroom endo-dmt report notes - 2019 Papers |